New Beginnings.

When a new year comes along, so does a chance to start your life over, in a way. I've never really seized it before, and I feel a little guilty for it. So when 2012 comes, I'm going to go above and beyond. I'm going to be fantastic. I'm going to be beautiful. I'm going to be someone people can't help but love. It sounds really shallow, but I want to be that girl that every girl wants to be. Unfortunately, Stardoll is holding me back from doing just that.

I can't make good grades when I find it so hard to just get off of the computer and study. I can't have a decent social life when the entire time I'm with my friends, I can't help but wonder when I'll be able to go home and go onto the computer. I won't be able to concentrate on my work when I can't stop thinking about what to say to my friends in TC or how to style my medoll next. Stardoll has been controlling my life for three years now, and I'm ready to put a stop to it.

I've been fantasizing about leaving for awhile now, but I only started thinking about it seriously fairly recently. I've been going over the pros, why I should leave, what I would gain, and the cons, what I would miss, and my strategy for leaving for awhile now. Because I do need a strategy. This is a war for me. I'll really regret it in the beginning. I'll be torturing myself, denying myself of something that I'll be convinced I need to survive.

Yes, sometimes I really do feel that I need Stardoll to survive. That it's just as important as air, food, or water, and without it I'd die. I remember one time my parents cut off my Internet for the day. After a few hours, I was curled up in my bed in fetal position telling myself I need it. I do not need it. I'll regret leaving at first, I'll say it was one of the worst mistakes of my life and I'll want to come back.

But in the long run, I won't regret it. Why would I want to cling to some website that's honestly designed for eight-year-olds when I could have so much more. I could have friends. I could have a job, I want to start modeling, and it would be harder if I'm preoccupied with the desire to come online. I could be a better person. I could make good grades. Why would I trade my life for Stardoll?

I am aware that this is a short notice, but first thing I'll do when I wake up on January 1st is get on Stardoll and delete my account. I'll ask my Dad to use the Parental Controls to block the website, so I won't be tempted to go on. Then I'll shake the virtual dust of this place off of my feet, wash my hands clean of this place and start my new life.

I'll miss everyone I know or knew on Stardoll. I hope you understand why I have to do this.

Addiction

Sorry, I feel like such a slacker! It's exam week at my school, so I hope that you can imagine how things get stressful and I have to spend more time studying then I normally would. Tomorrow are my last two exams, and after that I'll have more time and post more.

When you hear the word 'addiction', what do you think of? Most people will probably think of drugs or alcohol, and how you use them more and more and they slowly drive you insane. You probably think about how you know the drugs or alcohol are bad for you, you just can't stop using them. But addiction knows no bounds, you can be addicted to almost anything. Think of the TV show on Discovery Fit and Health, 'My Strange Addiction'. People on there are addicted to things like pulling out their hair, bathing in bleach, or sleeping with their blow dryers.
But one addiction that is becoming increasingly common is Internet or video game addiction. I'd say that most people that use Stardoll regularly have been addicted at one point in time, or are addicted. I'm not innocent of it either, I'm addicted. I've been on Stardoll for years, coming back even when I try to leave or getting an account deleted because I'm not sane enough to be on Stardoll. Here's a list of common Internet addiction symptoms...can you see any of them in yourself?

• Going on Stardoll every day without skipping. Do you ever get anxious when you can't go on to check your guestbook comments or go on for 'just five minutes' to see what your friends are up to?
• Losing track of time after getting online. Do you ever get on Stardoll, intending to just check your guestbook messages or see what your friends are up to, being on and off in fifteen minutes, but then look up at the clock and see that hours have passed?
• Going out less and less. Have you ever chose going on Stardoll to talk to your online friends or work on a project rather than going out and doing something with your family or real life friends?
• Spending less and less time on meals at home or at work, and eating in front of the monitor. Have you ever went to get lunch, and then instead of eating at the table like a normal human being, eating while going on Stardoll? After all, you're multitasking!
• Denying spending too much time online. Have you ever lied about how much time you spend on Stardoll? Have you ever not been able to see a friend's point of view when they say you spend too much time online, after all, three hours isn't a lot....right?
• Others complaining that you spend too much time online. Have your parents ever gotten mad and said you spend too much time on the computer?
• Checking Stardoll too many times a day. Even if you can manage to go on in short bursts, have you ever caught yourself checking Stardoll ten times a day or something?
• Logging on when you're busy. Have you ever spent time working on a Stardoll project when you should have been working on schoolwork, or doing your real job?
• Sneaking online when family members are not at home, with a sense on relief. Have you ever tried to hide how much that you're on, going on in secret whenever they're gone?

So, could you be addicted?